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Showing posts from April, 2019

Lasting Regret

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Finally Colombo. I said, taking a breath of relief. It took me 6 months to convince myself that I had to solve things with Roger. Roger and I met in Pondicherry in 2012, since then we have been together. We were happy. We worked in the same organization but in different departments. For instance, I was in the product development department and he was in mergers and acquisition. Our day started with hugs, kisses and black coffee and ended in cuddling with each other and sharing the day's story.  Just then when everything was going good, in April 2018, Roger got promoted and had to relocate to Sri Lanka for the biggest assignment of his life. He was very excited. I was a bit sceptical as to where would this distance take our relationship but I maintained my calm as I knew it meant a lot to him. Endless phone calls, few video calls and a simple message of I love you and I miss you, helped us to pull it off for the first 7 months. Then he got busy and I started gett

Moment of Love

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I am in my room sitting near my french window, sipping hot Chocolate and munching almond cookies. While gazing out to see the sunset in the arms of the ocean, making the majestic sky celebrate its togetherness. I instantly realize that maybe that is what love is, no expectation of how it might turn out to be, but an unsaid promise of an undying and ever enduring love. The chirping of birds is the witness of the love the sun has for the ocean. The splashing of waves is the witness of the love the ocean has for the sun. They both live at the moment and find their happy ending. Maybe over the period of time, the definition of a happy ending has changed from being happy forever to being happy at the moment. And maybe that moment is, a forever that we all failed to notice.

Fool's Paradise

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Guilt is my middle name. Sometimes I feel my mind is a coven of dark thoughts. I'm the queen of the place called overthinking! If there is an Oscar for overthinking I am definitely topping the chart So, I rise up every morning and have anxiety and panic attacks. It is the reason I don't smile anymore. Insecurity knocks my door every day and wears a mask of a happy relationship. I am angry and frustrated all the time. I don't feel like talking to anyone and I definitely don't like being criticized for this. My mood changes more than you blink. I had started to hate myself because of how uncertain I had become. I prayed and prayed to help me understand what I want and if there is actually somebody on this planet who would bear me happily? Days turned to months and then years, many seasons also passed by but I kept praying until my Guardian Angel came in and restored my faith. It all looks like a dream to me now, but I do remember

Silence is not the answer

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Sanaya and I were walking on the streets of Lucknow. We were there to attend a Kavya’s wedding ceremonies. We were all decked up for her Haldi ceremony. Sanaya was wearing a white crop top and pink floral skirt. I was wearing a black monochrome kurta with a heavy red Banarasi silk dupatta that I specially bought for this. Sanaya was asking me about the intricate craftsmanship that my dupatta had when suddenly, we heard someone whistling and hissing. Sanaya and I looked at each other in apprehension. In school, at home, mostly everywhere, we were taught to ignore if something like this happened. We felt someone was following us. We looked back and saw this man standing there and Biting his lips, fondling his balls and walking towards us while constantly staring at us. We reached the bus stop. Kavya said, we had to catch a 48 number bus. So, we're waiting for our bus. Just then, Someone walked towards us and pulled my dupatta and started singing a typical Bollyw