Don't Let them Define You

No, you do not qualify in the standards of how and what the society describes and means beautiful.

Some say it’s colour. Some say it’s figure. Some say it’s height. And for some, it’s flawless skin or hair. Some say getting married, others say lasting marriage, some say being a mother is beautiful. Guess what you are none of the above mentioned is true. Absolutely none of them. And till today it did not seem to be a problem because you were good at other things like being talented, independent, being courageous and kind most of all having a heart! Well, at least that’s what your parents said to look for in everyone else— to look for kindness, love, compassion and forgiveness.

Until today when an Advertisement made you want to question about yourself— your looks and your confidence. When a TV actress you adored makes her face plastic. When neighbour aunty unnecessarily asked you to apply besan and dahi on our face. When the society aunties commented on your complexion, in that marriag…

Leaf of Memory

One leaf for every memory you said giving me the first leaf. Amazed at how different you were. I always wondered how other couples gave flowers and chocolates to each other but we never did. Honestly, that never bothered me.

While others joined the rat race there we were together in a box house, sharing hugs and kisses. Do you remember how we used to bid goodbyes to the sunrises and sunsets and how sipping our black coffees made our day better? Do you remember how we lived only to embrace nature? I miss those times that we spent running behind waves of our laughter and smiles. Oh, do you also remember how caring for our horses and goats made our days better?

I remember asking you, why did you choose to give me a leaf, what you said next is something I can never forget. You said leaf because it resembles life, and you are my life. You said leaf because it doesn’t have the burden of expectation that it has to bloom. Leaf because it lives even after it dies in dairies, journals and book…

The Perfect Gift

Are you tired of gifting dresses and soft toys to the lady love of your life? Do you keep thinking about what could be gifted to your girlfriend or wife after all this lockdown is over? If yes then stop scratching your head. I have cracked it for you. So what your girl's heart desires the most is.. ah ah not so soon, go ahead read my entire blog to know the secret.

What women need is sensual, intimate and exquisitely crafted things. Every girl owns it but she always wants more! And, it is something that will always stay close to her heart. You may have guessed it by now- it’s Lingerie! Believe me, when I say this is indeed a very unconventional present but it is sure to win you a few hugs and kisses! And on second thought why stop at Lingerie, there is so much more than you can gift.

Here’s a list of goodies you can include in presenting her the basket of love:


For all the Aahsiq in house, I am sure this quarantine must have made you feel so lonely. So are you p…

The Last Fall

Every time you push me,
You think you are protecting me.
But those harsh words
That you utter, pierce me
And I love you a little less,
Than I used to

Every time you hurt me
Mentally and emotionally,
I am just glad that you don’t
Hurt me physically.
But I realise little by little that
Bruises heal,
but wounds given by you doesn’t.
I just hide it under the carpet of my heart.

Every time I say something,
You stop me by saying I am not good enough,
You burn me with your speech and
Hurt me by saying you can leave me anytime,
I feel the love inside me is dying.
And I fear the day
when I wouldn’t feel for you anymore.

Every time you say,
I can’t do one thing properly.
I get a montage of those several thousand,
Good things I did that you failed to notice.
Yet, I keep quiet,
Coz I think there is a little love left.

But what happens when that little portion
Dries up too?
What happens when the feelings die?
What happens when the fresh flowers you give
Looks stale to me?
What if the love you sho…

Time Machine

Me: Hey time machine, take me to the time where looking into the eye to express love wasn’t overrated. Where holding hands in public meant commitment. Where lovers would prefer dying in each other's arm than disrespecting. Where flowers bloomed without the need of being appreciated. Where water could choose it’s own direction without the boundaries to guide her. Where words like sorry and thank you meant mending a relationship.  Where birthday with friends meant dancing, cracking lame jokes playing an antakshari. Where planning and plotting were only in daily soaps. Where grudges, distrust and malice never gained entrance. Where letters and nature were cherished. Most of all a place Where nature heard it’s human. Because I think I time travelled to a different place altogether. I don’t want to be here. I don’t like this place.
Here people are weird. They choose Sex over the conversation Sext over text Whatsapp over phone calls Hookup over date Drinks over games Drugs over friends…


Yes I am talking to you
You right there reading this
I see guilt in your eyes
I sense fear in your breath
Yes, I know.
You are a murderer
You are an escapist
Don’t pretend you don’t know what I'm talking about
I can see through you
You murdered your dreams
You killed your desires
You tried escaping your feelings
Yet I don't see you upset about it
Instead, you rejoice
And are happy coz the world accepts the fake you
No. Don't call yourself a victim here
You held others hope so high
You forgot your hope had a right to live.
No, you can't undo what you have done
You can't stop running from the rat race now.
It's over.
I have exposed you to yourself,
You are a murderer,
Wearing the mask of a survivor!
And now that you know
You won't be able to forgive yourself
You won't be able to look into the mirror
Don't waste your time here pleading me for forgiveness

ज़ात बनी औक़ात

ज़ात बन बैठी भगवान, होगा कैसे देश का निर्माण?
छूआछूत की भिन्नता, १०० साल से यही एक समानता |
पढेगा तो बढ़ेगा, लगाए देश वासी नारे, लेकिन अच्छी सोच लाने में यहाँ सभी है हारे |
उनकी आवाज़ को ज़ात दबाए,  फिर कैसे देश जनतंत्र का इतिहास बनाए?
झाड़ू से उनकी पहचान बनायी, ख़ुद पे कभी ना आने दे उनकी परछाईं |
कूदा कचरा सब करके साफ़, बनाया उन्होंने देश को खास |
फिर क्यूँ है यह भेदभाव? क्यूँ उन्हें माना जाता है नाचीज़ और अभाव?
रूको, सोचो, ग़ौर फ़रमाओ, तुम भगवान नहीं के ऐसे पेश आओ!


I saw her the first time in 4th grade. She was praying but it felt as if my prayers have been answered. I had not noticed her before. I realised she was new in class. A transfer case. 
Every day when everybody was enjoying recess time, she used to be in class praying. One day I gathered courage and brought her a samosa of Rs 5, for me, it was the best utilization of my pocket money. She nodded and smiled and said: thank you but I have kept Roza. I asked her name, she said Rehmat and at that moment the world stopped. I could hear music in my ears. Her name seemed like the best name I had ever heard. 
The only name in my mind was hers. The only address I knew other than mine was hers. The only landline number I knew was hers. The only thought was her. Rehmat. Rehmat. Rehmat. That's all that I could think off.  Being a Hindu, I hardly knew about the holy season of Ramadan so I made friends who followed Islam. I decided to keep Roza.  I even lied at home. I told them that school was tea…

जज़्बात तेरे

जज़्बात तेरे, जज़्बात मेरे ख़ामोशी की चादर ओढ़े
रात के अँधेरे में तारों की मौजूदगी में तू बारिश की बूँदो की तरह तू धड़कते दिल की रफ़्तार की तरह प्यार सिखाती, रिश्ते संजोती जब देखो ख़ुशियाँ बांटती
तू चाँद की गूँज सी तू सर्दी की धूप सी तू समुन्दर, तू ही आसमान तू मुक़द्दर, तू ही जहान 
कितना कुछ है कहना मुझे कितना कुछ है सुनना तुझे मेरी ख़ामोशी को ग़ौर से सुन हर साँस में है तेरे नाम की धून
मोहब्बत दोनों को है एक समान चुप्पी आ गयी जैसे बिन बुलायी मेहमान
आँखो से मेरे तू सच पढले दिल के विराने में तू घर कर ले अकेलेपन के तिमिर से तू मुझे बचाले ज़िंदगी के सफ़र में आ मेरा साथ निभाले
जज़्बात तेरे, जज़्बात मेरे ख़ामोशी की चादर ओढ़े

आख़िरी मंज़िल

कुछ दफ़न है, कुछ को दफ़नाने हैं, आख़िर आख़िरी मंज़िल पर सभी को ही जाना है।
ना वक़्त गुज़रता ना पाने बहता
ना ख़ाने की भूख ना पानी की प्यास
ना इन्तज़ार का दर्द  ना प्यार का सूख
ना पापा की डाँट फटकार ना माँ का दूल्हार
ना पढ़ाई का प्रेशर ना बॉर्ड इग्ज़ैम का स्ट्रेस
आग की लिपटो से ज़िन्दगी छोटी लगने लगी दूसरों की गलतीं की सज़ा हमें हमारी मौत से देनी पड़ीं।
कुछ दफ़न है, कुछ को दफ़नाने हैं, आख़िर आख़िरी मंज़िल पर सभी को ही जाना है|

Lasting Regret

Finally Colombo. I said, taking a breath of relief. It took me 6 months to convince myself that I had to solve things with Roger.
Roger and I met in Pondicherry in 2012, since then we have been together. We were happy. We worked in the same organization but in different departments. For instance, I was in the product development department and he was in mergers and acquisition. Our day started with hugs, kisses and black coffee and ended in cuddling with each other and sharing the day's story. 
Just then when everything was going good, in April 2018, Roger got promoted and had to relocate to Sri Lanka for the biggest assignment of his life. He was very excited. I was a bit sceptical as to where would this distance take our relationship but I maintained my calm as I knew it meant a lot to him.
Endless phone calls, few video calls and a simple message of I love you and I miss you, helped us to pull it off for the first 7 months. Then he got busy and I started getting angry about not ge…

Moment of Love

I am in my room sitting near my french window, sipping hot Chocolate and munching almond cookies. While gazing out to see the sunset in the arms of the ocean, making the majestic sky celebrate its togetherness.
I instantly realize that maybe that is what love is, no expectation of how it might turn out to be, but an unsaid promise of an undying and ever enduring love.
The chirping of birds is the witness of the love the sun has for the ocean. The splashing of waves is the witness of the love the ocean has for the sun. They both live at the moment and find their happy ending.
Maybe over the period of time, the definition of a happy ending has changed from being happy forever to being happy at the moment. And maybe that moment is, a forever that we all failed to notice.

Fool's Paradise

Guilt is my middle name. Sometimes I feel my mind is a coven of dark thoughts. I'm the queen of the place called overthinking!
If there is an Oscar for overthinking I am definitely topping the chart
So, I rise up every morning and have anxiety and panic attacks. It is the reason I don't smile anymore.
Insecurity knocks my door every day and wears a mask of a happy relationship.
I am angry and frustrated all the time. I don't feel like talking to anyone and I definitely don't like being criticized for this.
My mood changes more than you blink.
I had started to hate myself because of how uncertain I had become. I prayed and prayed to help me understand what I want and if there is actually somebody on this planet who would bear me happily?
Days turned to months and then years, many seasons also passed by but I kept praying until my Guardian Angel came in and restored my faith.
It all looks like a dream to me now, but I do remember some parts of it. She said I'm a tangled mess…

Silence is not the answer

Sanaya and I were walking on the streets of Lucknow. We were there to attend a Kavya’s wedding ceremonies. We were all decked up for her Haldi ceremony. Sanaya was wearing a white crop top and pink floral skirt. I was wearing a black monochrome kurta with a heavy red Banarasi silk dupatta that I specially bought for this. Sanaya was asking me about the intricate craftsmanship that my dupatta had when suddenly, we heard someone whistling and hissing. Sanaya and I looked at each other in apprehension.
In school, at home, mostly everywhere, we were taught to ignore if something like this happened.
We felt someone was following us. We looked back and saw this man standing there and Biting his lips, fondling his balls and walking towards us while constantly staring at us. We reached the bus stop. Kavya said, we had to catch a 48 number bus. So, we're waiting for our bus. Just then, Someone walked towards us and pulled my dupatta and started singing a typical Bollywood song ”Lal dupatta W…

Love, burnt to ashes

We saw our love burn down to ashes.
I clearly remember it was a night of full moon. We were at the beachside having one last vacation together. I was wearing a short white Scallop Trim Open Knit Cover Up dress. I could feel the breeze fizzling in my messy hair. As I walked barefoot on sand I heard him calling me, I looked back. He was wearing a cotton pant white in colour along with a blue shirt with his buttons opened, showing his abs. He was running towards me. As he reached near me, he gasped for air.
I smiled and asked him if he brought the necessary things. He said yes. And that was it.
When it was the hour for the ritual. He gathered some sticks and a mighty fire roared. As I stood facing the fire, he stood next to me. He bent down and opened a tiny bag. In it were letters, gifts, cards and all the things I gifted him. I too had a cute little bag that had dried flowers, ring, and other gifts that he gave me in the span of our relationship. We put all the items in fire one by one ta…

Sorry, not social

They ask me why I do not like to be social? Why do I keep a particular distance with people? Why am I independent in such a way that I can never be dependent on others? . People say life is all about the consequences of choices that you make I say life is all about the consequences of what has happened in your life with or without your permission. . Seema was 4 when her mom put her into a nursery. She was pretty happy to make New friends. She was the teacher’s pet. Everybody loved her. But she received a special kind of love from Mukesh uncle, the peon. His touches did make her feel weird, but he traded her feelings with a bar of chocolate. She turned out to be asexual. Her body parts just shut itself. It's a common case from people suffering from sexual assault once a doctor said. . Rohini was 7 when she went to her neighbour's house To play with Aman Bhaiya. She took her toys thinking he really wanted to play with her instead there he Pushed her at the wall and started kissing her…

Message in a bottle

Life is like a little message in a bottle to be carried by winds, tides and faith that it will reach to the destined person.
Leo told me you wrote a letter, put it in a bottle and threw it in water for the tides to take control before it reached me. He said it thrilled you.
In my anticipation, I am always at the seashore waiting for the note you wrote to me. In fact, I bought a house on the shore so that I could spend the entire day waiting for your letter to wash away on the shore. 
Earlier I was angry with you. I always had questions in my heart as to Why did you have to leave? Couldn't you wait until we saw each other one last time before you go sailing?
But then I remember you saying, the sea has its own way of making lovers meet. And that I'm your second love, the sea being the first.
It is 6 years since you last visited. In these years I received 3 goodbye notes of sailors and one love note but not yours. I wrote to you 312 letters. One every week. And still didn't get an…

What Women Want?

Recently I received an anonymous letter asking me to write about what women want? If their silent treatment truly meant something. If their ‘FINE’ actually is a sign of some problem. If they can be real!

Well, to start with, I think I might be the zillionth person to write on this subject. Because there are thousands of articles and books talking about the complexities of women. There are ten thousand other write-ups talking about women being an unsolved mystery. 
But I wonder why the assumption? Why not have a tête-à-tête with them? Why not be courteous enough to listen to what really they need?

The world is full of pretentious people. They sure do make you feel like they are listening to your words, emotions, your well being. But somehow they end up listening to only that part which might either benefit them or which they think can be used against you in long run. Being a women doesn’t mean being needy or manipulative as the world puts it up.  
Being a woman myself, I definitely underst…